Monday 26 September 2011

Please like me...

Hi there.

You see that "Like" button to the right, and a bit to the up?

I'd appreciate if you gave it a click :)

Thanks for your support!

P.S Tell your friends to visit The Unsystematic Idiot, and give him a like...

Bye!

Chav - A documentary about

Join me Bavid Battenburg, and my colleague Alistair McCrockery, as we take you to look at the life of a chav.

Sunday 25 September 2011

Percy TV [Episode 1]

A new series by Chase Winters and Ben Potts about the United Kingdom's most prominent Hedgersson, Percy, and his new show, Percy TV!

Wednesday 21 September 2011

My new obsession...

Ok, so in the first sort of half of this year, I had a massive, unhealthy, deadly, addiction to a lovely beverage called Mountain Dew, which I'm pretty sure was responsible for multiple heart strains and achey-ness in joints. Plus it may have been what developed my tolerance to caffeine, or maybe it was all that coffee, but we'll never know eh.

Anyways, that passed a couple of months ago, maybe even before that since I can't remember the last time I had one. But for about a week, I have become thoroughly obsessed with...the Twix. I just don't know what it is about them, but I find that if I don't have food in front of me, I want a Twix. And it doesn't just stop at obsession, every time I begin to start eating one, I have to carefully examine and study what kind of a Twix it is. Will it break in two (Which is extremely flipping frustrating!!!) if I attempt to delayer it by biting the caramel bit off? FYI: This has to be done, or it's just a wasted Twix ok.

I find myself trampishly searching for loose change on the floor of my room and in jars that usually contain nails, various bits of metal, and occasionally a few coins, in hopes of accumulating enough to get miself a Twix Extra from the corner shop. I'm not actually sure if this new addiction/obsession is exactly a massively bad thing. I'm told I need to eat more crap because I'm apparently too skinny, but I have a massive triple chin!! So...yeah, I don't know...at the moment it's good, until I do actually turn into a disgusting fat man living at home watching the shopping channel all day...

I'm preeetty sure there aren't any other horrible side-effects that will change my life forever, but if I wake up one day with an extra limb, or find that I've turned into a huge Twix bar, then I may think about cutting down...just a bit...

Anyways, enjoy the rest of your weeks peeps!

See yaz!!

Monday 19 September 2011

How to cope with jerks


Hi blog, yes, I've been slapping myself repeatedly for not doing a blog post in ages, and the truth is, I've just had nothing good enough to write about. But I've now realised, that I actually do, as this is something I have great experience in, having to deal with it my whole life.

Bit of a change of tone this time, but I feel it's about time for an odd post like this.

So, yesh, here we go then, the "jerkus idiotus", found everywhere you go, school, work, Sainsbury's, etc. My advice is, just find out who they are, and steer clear of them. Thankfully there aren't any in my at college media group, but secondary school was full of them. I just did the same, stayed away. But if I found myself ever forced to work with them in a group, I'd just talk to them about the work, and nothing else, because I found that steering into other subjects, always ended up with them taking the mickey bliss.

If all else fails, (and I know some of you will just call me a total wimp about this but) just tell a higher authority, like a school counselor. Never try and "start on them", because that always ends in utter fecal matter (Sorry for that mental image), but ye get ma drift. Stay Away Stay Safe, there, some mnemonic I made up just now :)

Anyways, hope this helped anyone with this problem.

Will be posting again soon!

See ya!!

Friday 2 September 2011

a thing about my life by Albert S. Stevensonanderstokenacrobergonson.

hi reader. if your reading this doc then either i gave it you or ben probly nicked it from my caravan and is using it to make fun of me. well my life is absolutely fine thank you very much. i just recently bought one of them tree air freshners that smell of mint to stick on me window. my ex has stopped sending me death threats after i threw a brick at her door last week. and i got invited to a party that i went to last night. it was quite good. this man came up to me and said i had nice hands. and asked me to go with him outside. but i said no cause i dont follow strangers. then some teens standing next to me at the bar started staring at me and one of them called me a flod. then they all walked away.

my dad also rang yesterday to tell me how much he still hates me. and i went to the shop to get some milk and some skittles. i didnt mix them together. bens dog pood outside my caravan again that afternoon aswell. he says if he doesnt see it then he doesnt pick it up. to be honest hes a bit of an idiot. what if a child or an old woman steps in it. they wont be very happy then. searched again for a job in the paper but no luck. did find an ad for an ok lookin dyson hoover for cheap though. tried lookin for job on the internet but got sidetracked by a email someone sent me telling me to forward it to 10 people in half an hour or a man would come into my house at night and stab me or something. glad i managed to do it in time.

today a wasp came into my caravan and sat on my tv remote whilst i was still watching tv. i remained calm for a few seconds then screamed at it. it didnt move so i threw a coin at it. it flew up and came at me. i got up and ran into the toilet. i hid there for a bit. i had somehow fallen asleep whilst in there. when i woke up and got out it had finally gone. i hate wasps. dont really see the point in them. all they do is annoy people and fly around like they own the place and get in my sandwiches and stuff. if you know the point of them dont hesistate to tell me. please tell me. i need to know.

at this point i cant think what to write. so im just gonna say some stuff. bald people make me laugh. all my friends are emos. i hate you philip. my towels have all been soiled by the cats down the street. its 01:48am. im typing this on microsoft word 2007. scissors make me cry. leds are cool. my usb is crap cause it dont hold much. ive written about half a paragraph so far. there are numerous posters of david tennant and rhianna on one of my walls. them rumours bout me and sally aint true. i swears. people keep staring at me like i have no eyebrows. i should probably stop wearing a tux under my normal clothes. its a bit sweaty. if ben puts his stereo up to 15 volume i shall scream.

well, bye

Al