The Most Surreal Experience In My Life

WARNING: This next story is NOT advised to be read by the faint of heart.

Ok...so, ok...right...ok...so I cautiously ventured into Sadlergate today, to buy a birthday present for my Warhammer obsessed friend. So I went into Games Workshop, thinking of all the possible disasters that could happen to me in there (Knocking stuff off shelves, walking in to people, wetting myself etc), and had never imagined how weird this visit could be.

Ok firstly, I had to wait about 5-6 minutes behind two Warhammer nerds talking about "The magical god of speed!" and "My mate thinks he can cast this spell on me 4 times!". Frankly, I was quite shocked that grown men could discuss it in that kind of detail. I also had to endure the fact that the room actually smelt of B.O and poo (or faeces, for the more sophisticated mind)

Finally, they finished their cringeworthy conversation (See what I did there? - Alliteration - Need it for my exams), and I could finally get what I came for, some damn vouchers. So I asked for 20 quids worth of them, but then, I made the fatal mistake, the FATAL mistake, of engaging in conversation with someone of his caliber... I said "It's for someone's birthday." in a friendly sort of way, then he replied with "Ahh right." Then started making some really unfunny comments about me just buying vouchers because I didn't know what to buy my friend. I had to pretend to laugh all the way through him talking like a madman (Which was probably a bad thing as it may have encouraged him to continue talking). He actually wouldn't shut up, and was getting louder and more uncomfortably eccentric by the second, until he was at the point where he was literally shouting stuff at me.

After he'd packed the voucher into an envelope (Which he'd previously made yet another unfunny joke about), I thought I was about to escape this hell hole, when he spoke again...I felt a sheer sense of dread hit me as I turned around and he asked, "Do you play Warhammer?". I responded "No." But then he continued to explain to me what it is, and said I should come into the shop and learn how to play it. I had to pretend to sound interested and just said "Yeaah, ok then, maybe.". Then I tried to leave again when he relentlessly continued with the unfunny nerdy jokes ---> "I'll show you how to play one time, when there aren't a load of goblins around the shop, hah hah hah!"...I just said "Ok bye", and left as fast as I could.

So yeah, that's about it. I then frantically rang several people to tell them about it, then fell asleep in the car, beeped some mates, and did some other stuff this afternoon but I don't remember exactly.

Anyways, that's all from me!

See you soon! (Hopefully in a bloomin' Drink Concoction!)

Ok bye!!