How to be a boy-band

1. Find at least 4 other males who are as hideously feminine as you.

2. Get physically and verbally abused by a dance choreographer because you can't dance to save your life.

3. Do not become good at any instrument.

4. Sell out to Simon Cowell.

5. Perform in front of large groups of annoying screaming teenage girls.

6. Have some feature about you which makes you slightly different than the others (distasteful hair colour, higher more annoying voice, missing limb, etc)

7. Get other more successful artists (or Simon Cowell) to write all your songs for you.

8. Have your voice auto-tuned because you can't actually sing.

9. Do an occasional badly written rap about "dat girl what lives next door".

10. Grow up and become a convict.