I'm here to help you sad people with your sad lives that you are currently living.
Follow these rules and you shall prevail.
-Do not use bus station toilets
-Do not shoot anyone
-Give money to buskers (People playing on the street), unless they're totally crap, then don't, or they'll continue on.
-Never wear a t-shirt that you think might be a bit small but you'll put it on anyway because you can't find any others. For goodness sake just find one, or wear a coat.
-Wear converse shoes, they're good.
-Do not come within 5 feet of me or I'll lash out and probably slap you.
-Try to waste your life indoors until at least 16. Less chance of accidentally getting someone pregnant in the park.
-Do not tell your mother you fancy Sandra Bullock, and Uma Thurman, and Nicole Kidman, or she'll keep assuming you're into older women. They don't look that old. Gosh.
-Do not put Vaseline above the lips. It looks like you're constantly sweating (Not attractive).
-Do not buy pre-owned DVDs from CEX by yourself. It is one of the most depressing things ever.
-Do not use your monday off to buy cheap crap food from ALDI then forget to get a bag then have to walk home holding it all whilst people give you pitying looks.
That is all for now.
Bye.
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