Christmas Video Update 5

PIA-PIA-PIANO PIANO PIANO

Christmas Video Update 4

STEPPING RIGHT INTO CHRISTMAS NOW

Christmas Video Update 3

LOL ROFFEH I LUV U

COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I SAY "SO YEAH"

Christmas Video Update 2

UPADATE. I LYK CHRISTMAS TREEZ.

Christmas Video Update 1

BE PREPARED

Stakeout

This is the college project I had been working on for the last few months, about two dudes on a stakeout, hence the title, "Stakeout". I've also done some other stuff recently too which I shall upload soonage.

Enjoy.

The story so far...

So here I am. Hello.

Things have escalated quickly, giving me no time for anything ever.

Notably, this.

Over the last few months or so, my life has basically been:

- Work overtime at college to make progress on one or more of my four assignments.

- Go virtually straight out about an hour after getting home to go to one of 'weekly event'

- Come back home knackered, whack on a film starring either Sandra Bullock or Clint Eastwood, fall asleep halfway through, go to bed at about 1-ish, forget about personal hygiene.

- And leave to visit university a open day at about 8 in the morning almost every saturday.

I'm actually fairly enthusiastic about that last one.

My mum tells me to 'get the hell out of Derby as fast as you can'. I agree.

I can not wait till I leave this city. It'll be like I'm trying to flee a city infested with zombies.

Whilst I still hope I'll be able to keep contact with my closest friends. It'll be good to start again, and display my social retardedness to a whole host of other people.

Yes.

Anyways, in other news, I've slacked on my sci-fi novel, so I will get back into that whilst I now have saturdays back. Also, I'm filming a couple of video projects in media soon, one of which I'm quite excited about so will post it on here when it's done.

Right, I need to go amend my personal hygiene.

Bye.

Hello, is it me you're looking for? (Of course it is you silly, it's been about 3 months)

Yes, hello. Don't mind me. Just rocking this indie shirt look, twitching and touching my face a lot again. I'm back, and as boring as ever. FYI: Future updates will be a hell of a lot more interesting. By my standards this is bloody awful.

Things that annoy me about family reunions

Haven't done one of these in almost 5 months, but I finally have something annoying to talk about yet again.

So I was at an annual family re-union earlier this month that I haven't been to in a year or so, and lemme tell yuh, (As my buddy Jake says) it was an awkward breeding ground.

Basically, everyone is related to each other somehow, but you look around at everyone and you're like, "how?" There's so many kids and middle aged men that bare no resemblance to you or any of your more direct family.

Plus everyone had a cockney accent, and I have a fairly more east midlands-y accent so I sometimes found it hard to understand basic sentences being thrown at me from across the room.

Also, it can get quite awkward at first because no-one actually wants to talk to each other, then you don't want to actually talk to certain people because of their arsey ways from past reunions.

That's all I really have on that topic.

Stay tuned over this next season! I'll be back on the ball with this whole blogging malarky.

Goodnight people.

Olympics

I was going to do a massive title for this post involving the words 'London' and '2012 but I cba (Don't google what that means kids!)

So, I think we did a pretty damn good job at hosting them this year, and massive well done to Danny Boyle for the ceremony.

But when it comes to viewing the olympics with other people, it can be quite daunting when they spew out all their sporting knowledge whilst it's on, and all you can say is, "Ooh he was good wasn't he." or "Oh look she won that she did.", maybe even "The colours...".

In order to become slightly like this crowd, I sometimes cheered for another team like Japan, or Austria just so it looked like I'd watched past olympics and was very enthusiastic about different teams and such.

Another way to look like you know a lot about the olypics is to refer to olympians by their last names, so when watching the cycling, you'd go "Come on Wiggins!" or "You can do it Gong!" Then people will think you are familiar with athletes and therefore think you know lots.

But for goodness sake, if you are ever to do any of these things, do them in moderation, or people may assume you are the olympic oracle and begin asking you some difficult questions about the olympics.

It's been a mental battle these olympics. Gosh, olympics. Yeah.

Life Is A Cabaret (Old Chum)

20 days it's been. 20 damn days. Well that brief hiatus ends now!

To be honest I might just leave myself 20 days off every August because I'm so busy, unless there's something really hilarious I need to blab about on here.

So, summer is almost finished, and my oh my, has it been better than moderate. I have lots of individual funny things to post about which I will make into several other posts to beef up the post count for this month, cause at the moment it is looking quite pathetic.

So I'll see you in the other posts!

Bye!

Did you know...

Crinkle cut things don't actually taste better.

It's all a pack of lies.

Reasons why I am cool

I sometimes smell of nice

I have at least 2 friends I think

Most people like to be around me for more than 17 seconds

I am capable of falling down the stairs

The man at the corner shop sometimes makes small talk with me

I have disgustingly fashionable facial hair

The legion of rats in my bedroom hardly ever attack me anymore

Lampshades no longer make me cry on sight

Bye xox

Summer

Hello Unsystematic Blog Viewers. I may start starting posts with that phrase now. It's what I usually say at the start of video posts, if you've uh...seen them.

So!

I'm in Scoaghtland, in a static caravan, watching Aliens on Film 4 whilst writing this post. It'll probably have finished by the time I've done it.

Anyways, I'm writing about Summers. K.

So this is sort of a strange time for me... I don't know why, but whenever I'm on holiday, I just feel so weird, cause like, I don't see any of my friends for ages, and everyone's always away at things, and all my stuff and timetables are all like re-arranged and mixed up and like my life is in a sort of state of flux, and nothing really feels right until September. Then I have a camp in August with most of my friends at, but it still feels really weird, like I'm in a different reality or something I don't know...

You probably think I'm going mental now. I promise I'm not yet.

But yeah, at least there's a lot of sleep and no college.

OHMYGOSHYES!!

So, the months ahead, are, continuing my writing project, which is going prrrrretty well at the moment, (I'm on 16 pages boi!!) but I'm having massive writers block so may need to re-jiggle some plot points to get things moving again. I'm not planning to do any more videos any time soon as my August is packed, so maybe September.

Right, I need a shower now because I stink of a certain type of matter that rhymes with "pecal".

Yeah, so see ya!

(Oh btw, Aliens hasn't finished yet. YES!)

My Summer 2012

Crude cartoons No. 9

Haven't done one for these for almost exactly a year. (I'm about 5 days off)

But I just got bored and made this...

Enjoy.

a day in the life of Jonathan the inventor

Yes...

...YES! I have completed a new video! FINALLY! OH MY GOSH SOMEONE PURCHASE SOME CHAMPAGNE!

I kid, get me some Crabbies ginger beer please.

But yes, it's a new mockumentary I've been working on for some weeks now, and it's exporting as I type this, so be ready! (freddy)

My mother seemed to find it amusing (Yes, she really did), so I am hoping you readers do too.

So stay tuned! I mean, paged...erm...just don't click off my blog basically.

Thanks!

Polluting the papers VII

Not done one of these in about 7 months! But now it's back! With a bang! ...just kidding, it's too late for that...

Enjoy.

Post 2

We're almost two thirds through the month and I've only done two posts...

I've hit an all time low...posting...
(Don't worry I've not developed some kind of harmful addiction)

But this is the least I've ever posted over the past two months, plus I've not even done a video...

I might awkwardly get a paper off the metro man tomorrow to doodle in for a post.

If you're wondering why it's awkward now, basically when I started college I used to get them every day, then hardly read them, and they'd just accumulate in my bag all week, so I just stopped getting them off the guy, but he always expected me to go to him, so now I have to sort of walk a certain number of feet away from him to avoid contact.

So yeah, that and, I might do a drink concoction SOONAGE, tomorrow maybe/hopefully also.

Also, I HAVE been working on my sci-fi epic (not...epic, but you get me), and I'm writing yet another script...that will be easier to film this time as it doesn't require a massive warehouse or New York City or anything.

I hope I can have that done before the end of this month actually, but I have a couple of video projects on already, both college and other so that might be quite hard.

Right, gotta go now and sleep, I've been feeling so drowsy lately I hate it.

So see you whenever!

Hmm...

Auto login's stopped working again, that can only mean one thing!

I haven't done a post in absolutely bloody ages.

Well, May turned out to be quite a slack month, and now June is starting to look that way too.

Didn't do an actual video, didn't post much interesting stuff, I can literally feel the loss of interest in this blog from other loyal readers.

IF YOU WANT REGULAR POSTS ALL THE TIME, PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO UPDATES FROM SOMEONE ELSES BLOG.

(That was a joke obviously, I need all the readers I can get, please don't stop reading now forever...please...)

So we're almost halfway through the year. I'll check my quarterly performance in a bit. Nothing really amazingly amazing has happened since January...really. I had a fairly good birthday. I am currently down to one assignment at college. I am no longer depressed due to reasons. Yes.

Also, I got into a massive discussion with someone the other day about (well, it was a one-sided discussion but she listened to the whole thing) characteristics of certain branded drinks. Basically, Coke is the slutty fizzy drink that everyone buys and it just sits there on the shelf like "Ooh, buy me! I'm full of sugar and caffeine!!" then Dr Pepper and 7-Up are all like indie drinks that kinda sit in the sidelines like "Ah, only cool, different people buy us." Then Fanta and Tango are both in some massive gang war which is gonna blow right up one of these days.

I have no more on this subject now.

Anyway, I need to go and watch Fight Club again, it's been paused for ages.

So bye!!

P.S Please enjoy this picture of me pregnant the other day.

X

Wolfmother - Dimension (Bass Cover)

My latest bass cover. As always, there's a bunch of wrong notes :L

Enjoy!

A vlog

This is a vlog. Ok.

Meeting new people and How I feel about "in-jokes"

Hello. 

(I am using the compose tab instead of Edit HTML because it looks a bit more like Word and I know where the Bold, Italic, and Underline things are.)

Sorry, haven't posted in a couple weeks... Alone In The Dark 5 ended quite crappishly and I spent most of the time crying over the fact that I'd spent 5 quid on it...

Anyways, nothing new in my life at the moment. I have no work to do so I spent today watching The Mitchell and Webb Situation and re-recording voices for Sammy The Cat (yeah...)

But this isn't just an "Is my life on-track" post, it is an actual proper post.

So last weekend I went to a mate's house for the day, then later I was invited into her friend's enormous flipping mansion of a home and offered a tea...which I had to just accept because the family were just so excessively nice. 

Now I have this thing where when I learn a basic fact in like a second, I WILL forget it within the next 10-15 minutes or so. So this can get rather frustrating when trying to remember people's names, minutes after they've introduced their self. This is exactly what happened whilst I was here, so when I left I had to stealthily mumble "What's her name?" to my friend, which she couldn't understand, so I had to mumble it again and accidentally made eye contact with another person so it looked like I was secretly saying things about them, leaving us both probably feeling a bit awkward. Also, it doesn't help when my ears sometimes decide to malfunction as someone is talking to me so all I hear is "Hello, I'm flgyusgfhfsh, and you are?"

So when I got back, I was in my sort of surveillance mode, where I just look around the room and often listen to other people's conversations. When someone begun talking and I had no idea what they were on about, until someone laughed, and I realised in my mind "Ohhh, it's an in-joke". Now, when people start in-joking, I feel a massive sense of leftoutedness, and I try to pretend I know what they're talking about, and just when I think I've understood the story, and the joke, they'll add another bit like "and then the satsuma's will go sour" or "but just make sure his head doesn't pop off, ahahahaa", which leaves me feeling "whuh?"

So yeah, that's that. At this point you probably have no idea what I'm talking about now.

Oh well.

Anyways, I need sleep now. I've literally been writing this post on and off all day...

Oh, and I probably won't be using, the bold, italic, and underline functions again. Effort.

Bye!!!!

Oh my...it's May...

Hello-ha! (That is the first time I've ever put that word on this blog...woah...)

It's May! And I must not make a habit of telling you what month it is every time we hit the first of it.

But May is a good month! My birthday's coming up in 23 days! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPers!!

Plus I've been busy with stuff, I've done some scripts I hope to film one or more (ooh 'eck) of this month, and I've done about half a paragraph more of my story...soz... I've been distracted over the past few days by Alone In The Dark 5 on the Wii, which is actually fairly good if you see past the bad voice acting...

And I have been doing college work, honest!

So yeah, the month ahead = College work + Burying stress in blasting mutants + My Birthday + Possible money I may get ÷ X amount of media + Not socializing with anyone ever again.

Yay!

Anyways, i'mma go now!

BYE!!!!!

Check out this mega dude!

If you're a big gaming fan, check out this guy's new gaming news series!

It's awesome!

Drunken Chinese

Inspired by my Dad

(But maybe not in the way you might think)

My word

(EDIT: No pun initially intended but now I've realized it sounds like one, let's just pretend it is...)

I have been uploading a lot of videos recently haven't I.

Gosh, whatever happened to good old fashioned words?

Well, here they are...

WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS

Yes, so, updates, college work is getting finished quicker now so that leaves more time to work on my story, I'm also writing more scripts that I plan to do mid-week now to avoid annoyances, and life is fairly manageable at the moment.

So yes.

W00P for that.

I shall go now and do some more things.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Bass Track (Demo)

Just a quick demo of a bass line I wrote last night. It's pretty rough and there are a few sour notes in there, but still, enjoy! :)

Green Day - Stuart And The Ave (Bass Cover)

I hit LOADS of sour notes, but still, enjoy! :L

Beatbox

Here's me, doing one.

Bshhkhkh bshhkh bshhhhkhkh bshhkhkh blim blim blum blum blim blim blim blem blem blhdhdhd blhdhdhd blhdhdhd blhdhdhd blhd blhd

Yeah.

Extract

From a new thing I'm writing. Enjoy!

It was nearing the end of the working day, and I was currently in one of my intermittent office power naps that involved the proximity of my forehead and the desk to be at point blanc for at least a good hour. The intercom buzzed obnoxiously and yanked me away from my day-dream world as I quickly raised my head, and mashed the pad of buttons with my palm.
"Yes?" I droned into the microphone.
"Mr Goodwin, we need you down here now, it's a code green! An actual code green!" I immediately jolted out of my chair and rushed past my desk, knocking the contents of several boxes off of it. I looked down at them, sighed, and ran out.
The hallways were still continuing to send me to sleep every time I walked down them, with their snooty boring white shiny walls that looked as if they'd never been touched by the constantly passing flesh, blood and brain matter that was so often rushed through this way. I made my way to the end of the corridor and made a swift left down a narrow stairwell that led me into an entrance to the testing lab. The emergency lights were flashing above my head, so I was sensing something very bad. I knocked on a small window on the door. There was no answer. I knocked again. A bloody human hand slapped against it and slid down. I peered through the glass.
"Oh....."
The lab inside was completely ruined, desks and chairs were upside down and slashed up, and several pretty slit up scientists were lying on the ground. Suddenly my attention was aimed at a large creature on all fours, staring up at me from behind a stool on the ground. There were dread like things flowing from its head and wafting around like an animal would aimlessly waft its tail. But this didn't look to me like any animal I'd ever seen. Its eyes were like two sharpened gems, peering into me. I pressed my face against the glass for a closer look. The thing cocked its head to the side, and sped up to the door, brutally head butting the glass, making a slight chip in it. I jumped back. It continued staring at me, as I stared at it. The creature kept twisting its head left and right, as if to get a better look at me. I cautiously moved over to it, closer and closer, until we were standing face to face. It had stopped moving now. It remained still, as if it had just suddenly died and locked in this position. I zoomed right into its eyes, and stood still. The thing edged its head back slightly, and its eyes suddenly multiplied into four. I stood there with my jaw hanging wide open. It begun to open its mouth, and bared its razor-like triangular teeth at me. I took this as a clear sign to get the hell out of there now, but before I could even move my feet to turn around, it made an ungodly cough-choke sound and sprayed a disgusting green fluid on the window. I turned around and made my way back up the stairwell as fast as my feet could freak out. But the sound of sizzling behind me made me spin around to see what was happening. The door was inevitably starting to melt. I didn't want to assume too soon that what that creature was spewing was some sort of highly acidic substance, but it was, and the door was already coming loose. I raced back to the top of the stairwell and took a right turn in a attempt to get back to my office and hide for a bit, but just as I was halfway down the corridor, I heard a male yelp, followed by a scientists body being flung into the wall adjacent to my office door. Without even stopping to see what the cause of it was, me and my highly assumptious brain darted back in the other direction and kept on going to the end of the corridor. Another scientist came flying around the corner towards me.
"No! You can't go that way!" I yelled at him.
"It's gotta be better than what's down there!" he replied speeding off. I made a left and continued down the corridor to be suddenly greeted by several of those creatures. They all in turn snarled at me as I backed away and again sped in the other direction.

...

Guess who survived!

Me! Obviously.

So yeah, to re-iterate, I'm back from Belgium and am now reppin' it in Derbz man.

And if there's one thing I have to bring back with me...

It's that...

Belgians don't know how to make swings.

Yes, I admit, I was on a child's playground...for a while, and I thought "I KNOW! I'LL GO ON TEH SWINGS!!!!!!!!" So as I got towards them, I sat down, and was immediately pushed off by some chain, slap bang in the middle of the seat! I was so frustrated that I grabbed the blasted thing a threw it to the side a bit. Yes. That'll teach metal to mess with moi (they speak French in Belgium).

But anyway, I enjoyed it, and I will be taking it off my nuke list...that I don't own...what, who said that?

Yeah, so! It's saturday, wayyyy. I'll be posting some more stuff at some point today.

So stay tuned!

And go to Belgium!

Oui.

Holiday

Yo blog readers.

Just to let you know, I is currntly reppin' it in Belgium with some peeps ain't it. (I am rinsing their free wi-fi to write this and check Facebook)

So I probably won't be posting much on here until Saturday when I come back.

Or ever... Cause I might get 'napped by some crazy Belgians who don't have their own language-oops!

Anyways, I'll inform you all about it when/if I come back.

Its starting to rain now, and I have to stay outside to be within the proximity of their router...and my phone is getting wet...

So bye for now!

I think I'll do a post...

It's 1:11 as I'm writing this sentence, but I feel I need to update something.

Erm...

Just thinking of something fun to write...

Uh...

Wanna see some funny pictures of my dog?

Course you do!

Well, here...

And one of me (fat)

Um, bye.

Oh my...

I've only just watched my last Drink Concoction video back, and realized I didn't actually put in the end message...

I am shocked and appalled at my self.

Sorry.

XoXoX

Drink Concoction 7

It's back! It's flipping back! Those weird videos what I do innit.

Enjoy!

PSA

I really feel like adding a hilarious caption to the picture on that last post.

Any suggestions?

Comment or Facebook/Twitter me yeah.

Peace out.

For your own weird amusement

Here is a picture of a shocked lion that I took yesterday.

LOL.

Things that annoy me about historical buildings (or most places owned by the English Heritage)

Hello.

I've been to a lot of historical places this year with my father and co. And although I've thoroughly thoroughly indeedily enjoyed them yes, there are, some things that annoy me about them..

Firstly, the unnecessary amount of obscene artwork. I.E, paintings and models of naked men, women and children... I seriously do not want to have to see this on a nice visit to Chatsworth house thank you very much, YES I know that men have those and women have them, no need to flash them in my face.

Secondly, what's with the lack of damn coffee shops, I believe it is required for any place where you have to walk around for ages looking at gratuitous nudity and roped off people's beds, to have a gosh darneth coffee shop.

Thirdingly, those people that like stand around in corridors just staring at you as you walk around. And then you make the fatal bloody mistake of turning around and accidentally looking them right in the eye which they then take as an invitation to talk to you about more history and overload your brain with facts that you don't particularly care about. This one caught me and thought me and my compadre Katy would like to hear about the excruciatingly boring hobbies of The Duchess...

No.

Anyways, that's about it fo' now!

So yeah, have a great Easter holiday/general week guys!

And I'll be posting soon :)

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (This is actually how I say this word now..)

It's April (again)

Hey hey hazzayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Sorry, I don't know where that came from. But anyway

It's April. Goodness me, I remember the first day of April last year like it were yesterday...because I wrote a blog post, even worse than this back then.

So yeah, lots to look forward to, Easter, erm...April showers..? If you like..rain...

And today was April fools (Note the disgusting man to the right of the screen. I hate him I do.) on which I was fooled very early in the morning by one Nichole Ramos. You stupid woman.

FYI: I do not hate women.

Right, I'm actually gonna try this month blogging wise, I'm gonna try and do a drink concoction, and an actual video (but don't count on it), and maybe EVEN, pick up a paper, doodle on it, and stick it up.

Ooh! Excitement!

Now, I literally just finished writing a "Things that annoy me about..." before I started writing this, so go see that! (in a bit)

That's all for now!

See yas!

Regarding my videos

I've just come to the recent conclusion that no-one actually cares about them, and this has been confirmed to me by a couple of people a while ago, but I'm only just now accepting it. So basically, I'll have them up when I ever get chance to do one and life stops constantly hurling huge flaming barriers in the way.

K.

Thx.

Bye.

Attention readers from all nations

Please follow the greatest tweeter in our world.

THE Charlie Sanghera

He'll make you laugh, cry, and possibly go out and kill someone. But it's all good yeah.

Follow @Charliesanghera

You won't regret it innit.

#GetCharlieVerified

Fool.

Yet again

I am changing this blog's music to something less weird which I intend to keep.

Momentarily it will be changed to some Amon Tobin track from the Splinter Cell 3 Soundtrack.. :L

So yeah..

That is all.

x

Another pointless post.

I thought I'd just let you guys know.

These are currently my two favorite emoticons.

\(^o^)/

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yes.

Bye.

How to be a boy-band

1. Find at least 4 other males who are as hideously feminine as you.

2. Get physically and verbally abused by a dance choreographer because you can't dance to save your life.

3. Do not become good at any instrument.

4. Sell out to Simon Cowell.

5. Perform in front of large groups of annoying screaming teenage girls.

6. Have some feature about you which makes you slightly different than the others (distasteful hair colour, higher more annoying voice, missing limb, etc)

7. Get other more successful artists (or Simon Cowell) to write all your songs for you.

8. Have your voice auto-tuned because you can't actually sing.

9. Do an occasional badly written rap about "dat girl what lives next door".

10. Grow up and become a convict.

15 Days Later...

Oh wow, I can tell this blog is decreasing in quality and consistency yet again, as I haven't done a post in 15 days...and the last one was a picture of my face...yeah, soz.

But! I'm writing another post right now! So I'll get back to that...now!

Hope you're all well!

Ciao xoxo

Man.

I haven't actually put any pictures on any posts in ages... I have no idea why though... Maybe it's because they're all too good to have otherly pictures put next to them (It's probably that).

But anyway, just for the hell of it, I'll attach this one of me looking particularly disgusting on...

Enjoy.

I am not procrastinating...

Hi...I'm meant to be doing some work right now but I feel this is more important at the moment.

So...what to write about...well, how about me, since this is my blog.

Where to start.

Ok, so...

- I'm still pretty discontent with my life

- I'm still single

- My dog is still fat

- I still can't get my facial hair the way I want it

- I'm still stuck behind a wall of college work

- I still have no job

This is how sad my life is at the moment.

I'm not asking for sympathy, although if you would like to be my girlfriend, please do not hesitate to contact me.

But guess what, I've just finished an insanely long essay and now I am slightly happy. Yay. Imagine a knife thrusting itself through the second to last point. Don't ask why I put "knife".

So yeah, life might be all ok now...

Yes, I'm sure it will!

x

This months video...

Hello blog. And followers. And yes.

As you can see from your calenders, if you doth own one. Gosh, who doesn't, freak.

It's the last of the month, and I haven't done a new video. Yes I'm ashamed of myself, yada yada.

But this means I'll be doing a couple of decent videos next month, in fact I'm writing a script for one currently, just for an excuse to have my best (boy) mate in it.

So that'll probably be this or next week.

As for me, I'm buried in college work and can't actually move, I'm having my dog type this post out for me.

She would now like to have some input: WOOF! BEN SMELLS OF FEET!

Yes, thank you Grace.

So yeah, I'm gonna go now and finish this script.

Have a great rest of week guys! :)

Bye!!

P.S I had to add this in really quickly, but this is the 123rd post! LOL!

xxxxxxxxxxx

Life In Chad Park - Extras

All the extra rubbish me and Woodside filmed on the day we did Life In Chad Park.

Enjoy!


And here's the actual video...it's amazing...

Here's one for you... *Insert Jon Tickle voice*

I've realized something quite recently.

I think most of my social life has just been made up of utter crap conversation...

You're probably now thinking, well that's just you Ben, you're an anti-social person.

But no.

We all basically spend more of our lives talking crap nothingness to keep up conversation, than actually talking about decent things...

I texted this to a friend saturday evening, moments after having this epiphany, to which they just replied, "Oh well."

It's boggled my mind for a while now. Why do we do this? Do we just not have the brain power to continually think of interesting things to talk about?

I reckon we do this to avoid the dreaded...awkward silence...

Since realizing this, I've cut out these moments of blabbering rubbish in certain conversation, and just stayed silent to see what happens.

Absolutely nothing happens.

It was just me, and this person, sitting in awkward silence (Even though I had so many ways to keep the conversation going, through the means of talking crap).

I didn't want to eventually lead to saying this, but are all of our conversations with friends just "talky things that are made bearable by just talking said crap"?

Quite possibly.

Which leads me to this. What the hell are friends?! Just people we have things in common with at first, then are just there to have crap conversations with?

I think I've lost where I was now.

Anyway, I know that was very depressing, but now I've think I've taken out all mine.

Farewell!

Slashfest - My most recent shave

Ok, so I made it sound a bit (lot) worse on my Facebook status, but it hurt like hell, here is my slit face from friday night...

As you may or may not have noticed

I had a music player added to this blog, that previously played The Universal by Blur.

Now, as much as I love that track, I found it was slightly too distracting as it contained words, being said... Which my blog also contains, words, not necessarily being said, unless you always imagine my voice reading them out (Which I hope you do).

I have now changed it to an eerie sounding track from the PC game Blood 2 - The Chosen, which contains no words (The song, not the game, gosh!). I now intend this blog to come across as "slightly-more-interesting", the first time someone should visit it.

Yes.

Thank you.

<3

How to be good at life

I'm here to help you sad people with your sad lives that you are currently living.

Follow these rules and you shall prevail.

-Do not use bus station toilets

-Do not shoot anyone

-Give money to buskers (People playing on the street), unless they're totally crap, then don't, or they'll continue on.

-Never wear a t-shirt that you think might be a bit small but you'll put it on anyway because you can't find any others. For goodness sake just find one, or wear a coat.

-Wear converse shoes, they're good.

-Do not come within 5 feet of me or I'll lash out and probably slap you.

-Try to waste your life indoors until at least 16. Less chance of accidentally getting someone pregnant in the park.

-Do not tell your mother you fancy Sandra Bullock, and Uma Thurman, and Nicole Kidman, or she'll keep assuming you're into older women. They don't look that old. Gosh.

-Do not put Vaseline above the lips. It looks like you're constantly sweating (Not attractive).

-Do not buy pre-owned DVDs from CEX by yourself. It is one of the most depressing things ever.

-Do not use your monday off to buy cheap crap food from ALDI then forget to get a bag then have to walk home holding it all whilst people give you pitying looks.

That is all for now.

Bye.

The Adventures of Sprengerman! by Ben Potts (and added bits by Peace Gill)

This is a story I wrote back in '10 after sitting through a preach by one Mike Sprenger (A.K.A - The most hilarious man alive) My friend Peace wrote like two lines to balance out some of the violent content (The pencil bit).

Anyways, enjoy!

There once was a grey haired forty-something year old man named Michael Sprenger (or Mike, for short) who one day came to Jubilee Church to preach about invisible trumpets and make brilliant plane and boat whooshing sounds whilst praying for people. Then after church I went into town, came back, saw him, and actually talked to him (HAH take that Gill Peace). But as he was on his way home by train (yes, he told me he was going home by train), his journey was suddenly halted. Sprenger was infuriated as he was in the middle of a Sudoku puzzle when his pencil flung out of his hand, and had accidentally got lodged in the person adjacent to him’s eyeball.
“Arggh! Please watch where you’re flinging pencils sir.” The man exclaimed.
Sprenger quickly prayed for healing whilst making his whooshing noises.
“Apologies. I wonder what happened to the train.” replied Sprenger after the man's eyeball had magically got a big monster plaster on it.
Immediately he got up, spun round a bit, and-
“Could everyone turn around for a few minutes please. Thanks.”
Transformed into Sprengerman!
“Hey, where’d that flingy pencil guy go?” Asked the man, still with the pencil stuck in his eye, not seeming to be that bothered anymore.
“He uh, jumped out the window cause um…the stock markets crashed…again.” replied Sprengerman.
“But the windows don’t ope-”
“I don’t have time to talk!” yelled Sprengerman, as he ran into the next train car.
There was a prolonged awkward silence in the car Sprengerman had just run out of. Suddenly, a tall businessman quickly stood up.
“Oh Dear Lord! The stock markets have crashed?! Again?!” he shrieked, then launched himself through the window.
Spengerman ran through the car, then came to a ladder. He climbed up, but as he got to the top, the steps all simultaneously snapped in half, and he fell, miraculously landing on his head. He then tried at the ladder again, and climbed up the side, out the roof.
“Blimey, it’s a bit chilly.” mumbled Sprengerman to himself.
“Sprengerman!” yelled an annoying shrill voice from behind.
He quickly turned, and ambled back in horror, as a Subo-droid approached him.
“Gasp!”
“Did you just say gasp?” asked the Subo-droid.
“Erm, yes. Yes I did.”
“Right...anyway, I’m going to order my army of super intelligent polka-dot elephants to take over this train and brainwash everyone to listen to my terrible music.”
“Dear Janine! You can’t do that! It’s too terrible!!” screamed Sprengerman.
The train suddenly started tipping over. He looked over the side and spotted several elephants pushing it. The whole thing tipped over.
“Arggh! My sub-sandwich! That costed me £8.75!!” yelled a voice from inside.
Sprengerman spotted a car in the distance racing towards the train. As it grew closer and closer, he contemplated stopping it with his super-strength, but came to the conclusion that he couldn’t be bothered. The car struck the train, and a tall man with a hat came out.
“Ugh, I hate my life so much. Stuff always goes wrong when you’re Albert S. Stevensonanderstokenacrobergonson.
“Hey you!” shouted Sprenger. “What do you know about Elephants?”
The Subo-droid stepped forward.
“That’s super intelligent polka-dot Eleph-.”
“Silence Subo-droid!!” yelled Sprenger in her face. “Well?”
“I don’t flippin' know.” shouted Albert back. “I don‘t study them. What kind of nerd studies Elephants”
The Subo-droid stepped forward again.
“Super intel-hey, why the heck am I still here?”
She ran off the side of the train and flew away, narrowly missing an electric telephone wire.
“Hoo, that was clo-” suddenly, a business class jet sucked her into the turbine.
“Ouch.” mumbled Sprengerman. “Now, about these Elephants. Albert, can you be extremely aggressively depressing towards them? They might stop then.”
“Uh, k.” He turned towards the Elephants.
“Your life is worthless. You don’t have a purpose. All you do is live and die. You may as well jump off a cliff, no-one would notice. That’s right, no one.”
The Elephants stopped pushing the train, and all ran away…in the direction of the Cliffside.
“Hey Al, do you know where they might be running to?” asked Sprenger.
“Er, no.” replied Albert.
“Right then. Well, that solves that.”
“Uh, bye then.”
Albert got into his car and drove away into the distance.
“My work here is done.” Sprengerman said proudly as he stood atop the train
Suddenly a mysterious bald man appeared from out of no-where and everyone on the train ran up to him and slapped his head.

THE END

Oh...

Hey, er, blog. It's been a while...

So I guess I'd best update you on my tragic life (Did I just use the word "best" in place of "better"...? My mum's going to kill me - she's an English teacher).

Yeah, so I've been on half term since monday and not done much at all...was planning on doing a read-through for a script this week but that went out the window with people being busy... (damn people...I kid, I love you all...especially you Dave xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx) Sorry, don't know where that came from...

Um...sent 1 valentines card off to a very deserving person... then spent the rest of the evening scowling at couples with my God-brother (I'm sure there's such a thing as that), and eating an enormous sundae to myself whilst crying...(Er yeah, I'm like joking...yeah...)

Then literally all I've done is buy and watch DVD's for the rest of the week...

So yeah, in short, I need to do stuff.

I need to do another "Things that annoy me about..." since I haven't done one in time (Yes, I just said time...I think I'm actually turning into a chav...) but I fear I may have actually run out if things that annoy me... :O So I need to make some more enemies, and FAST!

Ok ok, I'll wrap this up now with, Enjoy your half term! (Whoever is actually on it this week)/Enjoy your half term next week! (Whoever is on it next week due to Shrovetide in Ashbourne as I know a few of my friends are)/Enjoy work/college/school/busking! If you're never on it ever.

Bye!!

Blur - Essex Dogs (Bass Cover)

Really wanted to record my bass cover of this song because it's just such a brilliant track.

Enjoy! :)

1 Year Anniversary of The Unsystematic Idiot

Well, I'm sort of 4 days late but hey ho I still remembered. So yeah, gosh, where hath the time gone? I don't know, is the answer to that freaking question. And no I'm not gonna be all cliched and say "It seems like I only started it last week". Cause it's been a year, you idiot. A year feels like a year to me, I don't know what it feels like to weird people on films, but this is reality people.

Ok, I don't know where that all came from.

Anyway, this year of bloggering should hopefully be better than the last!

Hopefully...

Bye.

x

Last boring post of the night...

Well apparently my video post was posted in January...so...I guess we can let this one slide... :L Anyways, I'm going to bed now... -_- Enjoy the video...

Night!

Life In Chad Park

A short video I filmed on my day off college on monday with Mr. Woodside (15 Ways To Fail, Chav - A documentary about). It was just a really simple idea that I thought up on the day. Enjoy!

Aight...

So, it turns out the clips on my camera haven't even finished converting, so...it'll probs be up in February... :L Still, I hope you enjoy it when it's up!

Bye!!

Hello!!

Hey! blog! It's me! As I'm writing this sentence it's 11:28 PM!!

Basically all I wanna say is, I filmed a video yesterday, it's being edited right now, it may not be done by 12PM, but it will be done tonight!! Just to save myself the guilt there of not having a video on by the end of this month as I'd promised myself for you few people!!

Anyways, back to editing!

Love yas!!

x

Post for certain people who read this blog and haven't just stumbled across it by accident...

Hello! I'm referring to people not from the U.K who read it.

Thank you! I never knew how many people from different countries read it!

You'll probably stop reading it now since I haven't posted anything interesting in flipping ages! But still, thanks!

I'm thinking of uploading a story I wrote a while ago based on a video game, in a bit, but it contains mild language, and scenes of a sexual natur-NO I'm kidding, but there is some slight language. Totally justified though! And I don't want to take it out because I think censorship is how creativity dies...yes I heard that off the T.V... but yeah, might do in a bit!

Anyways, hope you're all having fairly ok weekend's. I certainly am.

So...yeah...um, see you laters! (maybs)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So...

So January hasn't been a great month so far. Haven't really accomplished much, I'm still doing the final bits of my December video, I'm up to my neck in college work, and the apathy scale in my life right now is pretty high...

So!

I probably need to do something about that! I remember promising myself I'd do a proper video every month this year, and before you say "Oh Benjamin, don't kid yourself, you never keep promises, fool, you foolish fool, go and microwave your face, you flipping fool, raaaaaah!!!", this is a promise I actually want to keep. I haven't written much recently but the other-people-urging-me-to-make-another-video count has risen, to about two...TWO WHOLE PEOPLE!! :D So maybe I'll write something at some point...tonight...or tomorrow...

So!

That's possibly something coming over the horizon, look out for more drink concoctions and other random posts that I might happen to think of, might even do one tomorrow as I have a mate coming over, so YAYAY!

So!

Anyways, go away now, I'm watching Fistful of Dollars and it's hard to understand the foreign peoples' accents...

See ya! (Soon) ;)

2012 (Right then)

Alright Blog. It's been a while. Have a good Christmas and New Year? Cool. I'm not sure why I haven't posted in a while. I think because I've betrayed you and 3 or 4 other people for not uploading that stupid video on time, and felt I couldn't post anymore. So yeah, sorry.

Anyway, that's past me now. So hello blog, and viewers. It's a new year, 2012. Twenty. Flipping. Twelve.

Ok let me get something straight, we're not going to die because some ancient calender implied we would. So to all you scared people and movie producers, all this panic and fictitious media, it just looks silly ok.

Let's just enjoy this year, and look forward to years to come. I'm looking forward to this year, lots of eagerly anticipated films/television programmes to look forward to, the olympics, Newday, my birthday, my driving license, me not crashing on my first go, more Doctor Who (Which I guess falls into tv programmes but it deserves its own bit), and more!

I've also promised myself (Properly promised...I've even spat shaked with myself), that I'd try to make a proper video every month, so look forward to that! ...please.

Plus more hilarious blog posts, and just various random other videos and shizz that I happen to do over the year.

So...yeah. I know this is kinda late, but who cares...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! :D